Let Them Eat Spaghetti (Cake is Too Damn Expensive)

13 January 2011 By Rubi McGrory

We are surrounded by reminders of the wealthy extravagance of yacht owners. Not just the yachts themselves, but what’s inside, where they go and the spending/consuming habits of owners and guests.

But even with enough money to own a crewed yacht, some bosses are still pretty cheap – hey, they didn’t get rich by spending their money foolishly.

No names but, here are some entries into the Cheap Boss Hall of Fame:

· The owner of a 70-meter yacht fought a taxi driver over an €8 fare; the crew pulled him away just before the two men came to blows.

· The boss owns a coffee vending company. He installed his machines, usually seen in rest stops, on board and insisted on charging charter guests €2 per cup. The coffee was so horrible guests would buy their own beans ashore for the crew to brew in contraband pots.

· The owners would regularly take sheets, towels and robes from their hotel stays to outfit the boat. The sheets clearly never fit the mattresses and their credit card would always be charged for their pilfering.

· The crew budget did not include any feminine-hygiene products.

· The lady of the vessel bragged about her designer tableware and how expensive each setting was. Every plate on board was either chipped or cracked. Most of the mugs and glasses had chips on the rim, but she insisted they were still good for use.

· The owner of a 45-meter yacht did not want to pay cell charges; he asked the stew to walk to a payphone quarter mile down the dock to make dinner reservations for the boss and nine guests at St. Martin’s most exclusive restaurant.

· The Mr. and Mrs. took great pains to explain to the crew that business was very bad that year, so there would be no Christmas bonuses. They flew in on their G5 just to make the announcement.

· The Mrs. insisted on stocking the VIP cabins with shampoo and products from the owners’ various hotel visits.

· The principal charter guest purchased monkfish at the docks and ordered the chef to cut it in small pieces and serve it as “scampi.”

· In an effort to keep budgets low, the captain insisted the chef rinse, dry and reuse paper towels.

· Even though the owner charged over $35,000 per week to charter his 40-meter yacht, his guests would drink their vintage wine from six-year-old plastic cups that were cracked from overuse.

· The owners paid over €100 on seafood for their intimate dinner for two. As she handed it over she instructed the chef, “The crew doesn’t need to eat any of this. You should be serving them pasta and eggs for dinner. Maybe once a week you can splurge on chicken or stewing beef.”

· The boss thought giving his crew accommodation was generous enough. He insisted they should be able to feed themselves – the boat was on anchor down island in the Caribbean.

I am sure there are plenty more. Please share, but no names!