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"Sleeping" on the job
Posted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 7:13 PM

Dear Crew Confessor,


I'm the Captain of a 100'+ private yacht. The mate and I are full time and when the boss uses the boat I hire temporary crew. This usually works out really well, I have a list of people I can count on to do a good job and if one is busy I just move down the list. Last month all the regular stewardesses I use were busy elsewhere so I hired a new person that was staying at the crew house my buddy owns. He thought she was a nice young lady, neat, tidy and attractive. During the interview on the boat she seemed a little inexperienced but eager and polite and more than merely attractive as my buddy had told me, she was a knockout. I thought maybe she'd be a distraction for the mate, or even me. I hesitated briefly before hiring her, and then thought better of it. After all, it's not fair to punish someone for being too attractive, is it? After the interview on the boat I hired her for the week long trip in the Bahamas.


The owner of the boat is a Christian fundamentalist. He and his wife take their bible seriously and they don't drink, well they mostly don't drink. I've worked for this family for a long time and watched the kids grow up. They are in their early twenties now, and let's just say that they have done a masterful job of concealing their lifestyle from their parents. The trip itself was to be a graduation present for their son. He and a bunch of his buddies were given the yacht for a week, nice huh! The trip was great, everyone had an awesome time catching fish and doing all the great things you can do in the Bahamas. Yes, there was some drinking going on but nothing out of control. Great right? Well, early in the morning on the second to the last day of the trip I knocked on the door of the cabin that the chef and stew shared. We were leaving good and early for the long trip back to Lauderdale. The chef answered my knock and when she opened the door I couldn't help but notice that the bottom bunk was made up perfectly. It had not been slept in. I asked the chef where the stew was and she mumbled something under her breath and tried to duck into the head. Finally it came out the indeed she had not slept in her bunk that night, nor any of the other previous nights. In fact, she had been sleeping with the owner's son since the very first night.


I went up to the bridge and started the engines and the mate and I prepared to leave the chef ran around securing everything and soon I noticed our "busy" stew helping to secure the fenders on the bow as we left the dock. The return trip was uneventful and the following morning all the guests departed. After they left I paid the chef and then asked the stewardess to "sit down in the crew mess for a moment or two." I asked her if there was something she wanted to tell me, blah blah. Obviously the chef hadn't clued her in that I knew. I told her in no uncertain terms was her behavior acceptable and that if I had found out earlier she would have been on the dock etc.. She cried and said she knew it was wrong, but she really liked him was sorry etc... I tried to explain that she couldn't behave this way in this industry if she wanted to be in it for a while. She asked if she could use me as a reference! I've said nothing to my friend that recommended her, she was a hard worker and maybe she's learned a lesson.


Fast forward a few weeks. Owner calls, he and the whole family are coming to use the boat for a two week trip. He usually just leaves it to me to get one of our regulars for the additional crew but not this time. This time he asked me to get the same stewardess who was on the trip that his son took with his buddies. I was going to just wait a few days and then tell him that she wasn't available so I booked one of our old standbys but that tactic didn't work either. Apparently the "busy" stew has been chatting with the son and she rang me and asked when I wanted her to report to work! The parents will flip if they catch their golden boy doing the mattress mambo with stewsey que.


What do I do now?


Captain With Hair Turning Gray (fast)

Posted: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 8:03 PM
Joined: 06/03/2009
Posts: 3

It seems that the relationship has already happened. Since the owner has requested the woman he must already know about her and that his son is in a relationship with her. Just hire her and whatever happens happens. It's not your fault, she is a big girl and must assume responsibility for her actions. One can never tell what could happen, she may end up being your boss someday.
Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 2:28 AM

Ha ha ha.... ahh..jack ass captains. And they wonder why this kind of stuff happens.

 That is what you get for hiring somebody for the wrong reasons.  What's pathetic is that unattractive captains [most of them seem that way anyway] are sizing up people who tend to look waaaay better than them, either they will hire them or not. 


What is really pathetic is some loser captain thinking he's going to get "some" by hiring a younger, hotter gal as a stew. READ MY WORDS AS I TYPE THIS: you're not getting any.  You have to be cute and age appropriate yourself.  Times are changing.  More women are attracted to their own "level" not how much rank you pull or money you make. Dum dum.


Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 3:40 AM
My guess is the captain is sweating bricks a lot that the owner will not want to know that the salacious and easy to know but sexy stew is satisfying the prodigal son. It might not be very "born again" for the owner family. The captain be crucified for this which means that he will loose his jobs.
Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 4:54 AM
Not much sleeping on that boat with that one! The young......
Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 7:16 AM
If it were a charter the dilemma would be greater: should the crew split a larger than normal tip when they know full well that it was earned on the back of their crewmate?
Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 11:51 AM
Joined: 19/02/2009
Posts: 12

pretty harsh. the standard in the industry, right or wrong is going towards young and pretty or handsome. Clearly the captain is not a jacksass as he is doing exactly the right thing by seeking advice. So here is mine. Set the crew standards in a meeting with the full crew. Remind your unwanted crew member that she is NOT a guest, not on a long date and not to "fraternize" with the guests on that level. Crew have to take responsibility for their actions, AND understand the impact their actions can have on your reputation. Have fun walking the razor's edge. The other solution is to work her so hard she doesn't have time to "socialize", be honest with your owner regarding her level of experience, or flat out tell them you don't want her on the ship as crew.

Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 1:59 PM
Joined: 29/09/2008
Posts: 15

lol to funny!  I agree with the "Read my words guy" !
He hired her cause he though he was gunna get some HAHAHAHAHAHA!
-Hire her again, let her get with the son she will date the son and his spoiled behind will ask mommy
to borrow the yacht and BOOM, U KEEP YOUR JOB FOR ANOTHER DAY CAPT.
Gotta enjoy life, even if your like me and your girlfriend DUMPED YOU LAST NIGHT@#$%^&
Always smiling,
The Peter Griffin Guy-

Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 9:02 PM
If i was you i would talk to the son and just inform him you know what is going on. I am sure he already knows. At the end of the day he is also your "boss" and might be your future Boss. Just tell him in what situation he has put you and inform him that you will have to tell his parents if things get out of hand. I am sure his parents still thinks that he is a virgin and you don't want to burst their bubble.  It is amazing how blind Christen fundamentalists parents are. Hey he is in his 20's wouldn't you try your luck with a hot stew

Posted: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 9:30 PM

Id say sideline the boat chic on the next cruise by hiring a half dozen Russian Pole Dancers for the weekend.  Go ahead blow a few grand.  

   The BOY will be thrilled and Born Again,    The Boat chic outclassed and presto your problem is solved.

Posted: Thursday, March 26, 2009 4:54 AM
I wonder how often she changes the sheets in the son's cabin?!
Posted: Thursday, March 26, 2009 7:00 PM
Joined: 29/09/2008
Posts: 15

Anonymous wrote:
I wonder how often she changes the sheets in the son's cabin?!


Posted: Thursday, March 26, 2009 10:04 PM
Gives new meaning to the phrase "quick turnover," doesn't it!
Posted: Thursday, March 26, 2009 11:09 PM
Ya gotta luv someone who's such an eager beaver in the industry!
Posted: Friday, March 27, 2009 2:27 AM
Enthusiasm should be rewarded and in this instance it appears that is has... an eager beaver indeed!
Posted: Monday, March 30, 2009 3:42 AM
I would laugh, okay I am laughing, but I'm laughing because I have seen this happen a few times. Just be grateful that this time on your boat it was a stewardess and the owners son, and not the other way around, especially if one is under age.....
Crew Confessor
Posted: Monday, March 30, 2009 5:35 PM
Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 94

Dear Graying Captain, This situation is an excellent illustration of what can happen when you must hire temporary crew each time they yacht is used. It is much more difficult to establish authority and leadership with crew that do not have the commitment inherent in a permanent position.

Obviously this is not a desirable situation, well maybe for the owner's son, but for you and the rest of the crew, not so much. The stewardess has crossed that important line well and good and it is unfortunate but there doesn't appear to be a way to avoid having her on board for a return engagement.

You're kind of stuck. If she's caught with the son doing the "mattress mambo" as you call it, there will undoubtedly be an uproar on the yacht AND you might also suffer as collateral damage. On a positive note the owner is obviously aware that his son has taken a shine to the busy young lady so if they should be caught en flagrante it won't be a big surprise!

More importantly, will she be able to perform her job? And here I am talking about the traditional role of a stewardess. It can be very difficult once "that line" has been crossed to work effectively back on the other side.

Have a discussion with her prior to the trip. Explain to her that she is going on this trip because the owners specifically requested it but even so, if she is unable to perform the duties of the job in any way she will be sent home. Be authoritative. Lay the law down.

Don't be surprised if the line gets crossed a lot on this trip, but at this point there is little you can do except make sure she does her job. After all it is quite possible that someday she'll be sunning on the flybridge asking you for a fresh towel and some sun cream! Your Crew Confessor
Posted: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 8:54 AM

You mean to say that crew don't typically sleep with guests and guests don't sleep with crew?

I just assumed this was par for the course. A lot of people sleep around and a lot do not. Nothings going to change that fact.

However, I'm an ethical slut. The question isn't, "should I boink them or not," but "how can we both do this without hurting ourselves or others in the process."

To the female stew that said the Captains aren't getting any....oh, you poor pitiful fool. You don't actually think that sex is something that is mastered and only done by you and your giddy little school girls do you? Surely you must look forward to something more than sloppy sex with a drunk deckie at 3 in the morning with whiskey dick.

The worse thing about sex with twenty-somethings is they actually think "that thing they do" will carry the show after the second or third time. Give it a break and make the effort to learn something new.

I always assumed that once I got older and aged a little more that slowly, but gradually my selection of partners would decrease. Not even close. I'm sure this is completely beyond your comprehension since sex to you is a weapon, a tool: a punishment and a reward. Believe it or not, to many of use, it is not.

For those in the know, we always avoid the careless and wreckless, princesses, divas and twinkies. For those that like playing the fool...they're first to come knocking on your door.

Grow up. (You'll be a lot funner when you do.)


Posted: Tuesday, March 31, 2009 9:22 AM
And remember young deckies.  If your going to do some pile driving, always apply  anti fouling to  your pole.  Nothing worse than a case of barnacles .
 Average 5 out of 5