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Seductive Chef
Posted: Sunday, November 30, 2008 8:44 PM
Dear Crew Confessor,

We have a new chef on board and it appears that she has itchy knickers for the Captain. All of us have worked together for several years and are like a family. She's been doing stuff like making special meals for him, always sitting next to him, and giving him shoulder rubs when he's at the helm. She is so fake, she'll be in an awful mood in the galley but when he walks in she gets all smiley and acts happy. All of us went out the other night after a charter and she wore a micro mini and I swear she was going commando. Makes the rest of us on the boat want to hurl. Fearless leader enjoyed the view apparently and followed her around the pub like a dog. The owners think she is just terrific. She may be a skank but she can cook. But that's not the worst part. He's married and just had a baby! We know his wife, she used to be the chef. It's getting worse and now when the wife comes on board we are having trouble looking her in the eye. She can tell there is something up. Any advice?

Witness to the Seduction
Crew Confessor
Posted: Monday, December 1, 2008 7:29 PM
Joined: 20/11/2008
Posts: 94

Dear Witness,

This is wrong for so many reasons. In a way she is breaking up two families, his traditional family ashore and his one onboard. But, and this is a big but, you cannot blame her, it takes two people to have an affair and even though men have issues listening to the wrong end of their anatomy at times they can still say no. He's probably missing his wife and often sex dies off after a couple have a baby, at least for a while, so he is vulnerable. This is not an excuse for his behavior, just a possible explanation. Obviously you can't say anything to the wife. But there is something you and your crewmates can do. Sabotage. Things like playing Fatal Attraction in the crew mess (a lot!), and limiting the time they spend alone. Get your crew mates involved and every time they are alone together, barge in or invite yourself along if they go ashore together. Bring up the name of his wife in conversation as often as you can. If you have any old photos of the whole crew together with his wife in them, post them in the crew mess and talk about what a great charter that had been, how wonderful wifey cooked etc... blah blah blah. Have fun with this, I bet you can think of lots of ways to keep the wife onboard at least in spirit! This might be all that is necessary to help your captain keep his rudder in check.

Good Luck,

Your Crew Confessor
Posted: Monday, December 8, 2008 9:07 PM
Love it! Great response to a difficult situation. Sometimes for men out of site is out of mind, but you can still keep her " in sight" in his mind. It'll probably also begin to embarass the new "chef" and hopefully shame her into keeping her knickers on!
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