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Passed over for new stew
lily_stew
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2016 2:42 PM
Joined: 31/03/2016
Posts: 1


 




ive been on same yacht little over 2 years as second stew. chief stew left recently and was hoping to take over to her position, but they hired someone new instead!im disapointed and feel unappreciated. Ive worked very hard on this yacht and always put my best foot forward. i love the yacht and crew but if my hard work goes unrewarded should I move on? any one been in similar position? Need advice on what to do..
Henning_1
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2016 6:28 PM
Joined: 01/06/2008
Posts: 1061


Well, the best way to handle this situation is to go to the captain and ask what it was that kept you from being promoted. The thing about your perspective is that you don't know what you don't know, so you need to ask someone who has that perspective, and that's your captain. You may find out that there is a legitimate reason and you will learn something. 

 



 

 

Regardless what you learn, you still have the choice of jumping ship, or maybe you come to accept the reason with equanimity, and use it as point to negotiate a raise. The key to maintaining the control of option is in how you approach the captain. 95% of our misery comes from crew dynamics, and if you approach him with this in a non confrontational manner asking for information about the decision, you maintain control of the option to stay or leave. However the minute you challenge the decision creating a confrontational situation, you lose control of that option and put it in their lap; you may now have no choice about jumping ship, "Sorry you feel that way, pack your bags." now becomes an option in the mix. However if you approach them in a way that is calmly seeking information, you have created leverage for yourself to negotiate a raise, and if there is some education they think you are lacking, you may negotiate that in as well. 

 

The same applies for any of these situations in life, when you aren't sure, ask someone who knows; and maintain control of the options by maintaining your composure and civility. 

 


Anonymous
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2016 8:59 PM
When I approach captains, the phrase that helps me the most is "I am having some trouble, can you help me with ________________________" .  No matter how tough the question is, the fact that you are asking for help first puts everybody at ease.
chrismlewis
Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2016 11:52 PM
Joined: 09/10/2008
Posts: 134


Maybe ask what you can do to improve yourself so that next time the situation comes up you make the shortlist to be considered? Shows that you want to stay with the boat and that you are willing to receive guidance...
Anonymous
Posted: Wednesday, April 6, 2016 1:32 PM
As a captain, I've found that where a client expressed little confidence in me, it was very much time to move on.   I have tried in some of situations to please and then way-over-please -- and things would only worsen.  It would become a crusade -- but a war where I'd not be able to win.   I have gone to think that not all of this is personal.  It is foolish to think that we would adore every other person's "scent" or style.  I would be inclined to, at least, go on quietly with a search for a new job and that might show that, while things are not perfect, your lot is not too, too bad where you now are.
 
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