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What would you do?
Posted: Monday, September 1, 2008 4:15 AM

Hopefully we've whet your appetite for discussion with the "Sex and the Superyacht" series of Hot Topics. Here's your chance to participate, anonymously if you choose, in the conversation.

What would you do as captain or crew if the yacht owner asked you to cover up for his or her inappropriate behavior? Would you blindly go along with this wish or would you take a stand against it?

We're looking forward to your candid replies.


Posted: Tuesday, September 2, 2008 1:16 PM

Go along with it as long as it was legal!

Posted: Wednesday, September 3, 2008 5:19 PM

I would go along with the game as long as it was legal but would draw the line with interacting with the guest and would terminate any crew that did. It would be a definite collapse of the crew team protocol and discipline once crew got involved

Anita Warwick
Posted: Saturday, September 13, 2008 2:17 AM
Joined: 15/05/2008
Posts: 44

Discretion Puleeease!

As a crewmember you're expected to be totally discreet.   You see nothing! You say nothing!  If an owner can't come to his/her boat and be comfortable around his crew for fear of what the crew might think/say - it's not going to be a happy vessel.

Who are the crew to judge what is inappropriate?  What are we talking about here? Morality?  Fidelity? Drugs? Sexual orientation?   Inappropriate words spelled out with the dress flags? 

It was only in 2003 that the Supreme Court invalidated the sodomy laws in the 50 states, DC and Puerto Rico  Lawrence v Texas 23. In FL for example, all sodomy acts were illegal (60 days jail and $500 fine.) What, you're going to start wailing if the owner is shagging a fella?!   You find something strange in a pocket you were checking before doing the laundry?  Put it discreetly back.

 Crew are in servitude, discretion comes with it. One might be asked to sign a discretionary contract (for what it's worth) but it shouldn't be necessary. If you're uncomfortable you need to find another boat.

The incident I perhaps should have done something about as a crewmember was when the Captain pulled me aside when about to enter a Caribbean port and say: "Listen, I've got a bag of ganja in my cabin, will you go get it and put it somewhere until we've cleared in!!!"    Well, knock me sideways!  This captain put the vessel, the owner and the crew at risk.   As it turned out his drug problem was a lot more serious than smoking grass and he disappeared from the yachting industry not too long after.  I don't know if the owner if ever knew..... 

Posted: Tuesday, October 7, 2008 7:34 PM
Joined: 13/07/2008
Posts: 32

It is nothing about SEX, but I felt teased to share it in this section: I fell in Love while scrolling through Elite Yacht International Ladies Gallery(with all of them) - so much charm in just one Agency
Captain Stern
Posted: Wednesday, October 8, 2008 1:03 PM
Joined: 03/10/2008
Posts: 2

Women on boats eh? Should it be allowed full stop?


Captain Stern

Posted: Friday, October 24, 2008 6:34 PM

I absolutely agree with you. In my last position on a private M/Y, the married owner had a long term girlfriend and the crew had no idea if his wife knew about this or not. So between the girlfriend leaving and the wife arriving, the Master cabin and head had to be clean swept thoroughly to the degree that I would have to ask the owner to double check the bathroom cabinets to insure that all the girlfriends things had indeed been stowed and all the remaining toiletries did  belong to his wife. Not only this but when he brought yet another girl onboard we treated her like any other guest.

Who are we to judge the behaviour of others? Let he be who is without sin cast the first stone etc, etc... and being a wealthy Yacht owner, the temptations and availability must be extraordinary and whilst not condoning the behaviour, nor do I judge it. It's just not an issue - I am there to serve and ensure the guests are happy and comfortable to the best of my ability. I know Captain's with worse behaviour and let's face it - if you are (especially) a guy with a pretty face hot bod in this industry, you are pulling stews in every port you enter, girlfriend at home or not so whats the difference really???

Or we can talk about boats where the guests are having 'naked relations' with prostitutes in full view of the crew - now there I really do draw the line!

Posted: Monday, March 2, 2009 2:39 PM
Joined: 02/03/2009
Posts: 2

Capt. I need Help
Posted: Wednesday, April 1, 2009 11:38 PM

[This forum post has been removed by the moderator]

Posted: Monday, May 25, 2009 11:41 AM
Yeah, as a captain I've run many a boys cruise and floating "bat caves" as well as trips with the wives and kids. I keep my mouth shut, my job is not as the moral police, besides, I'm as much of a degenerate as they are. That's why we get along so well and they pay me well above the prevailing wage. Typically they'll bring plenty of "hooker money" and when the trip down is over, they'll leave me whatever is left over as a tip for a good time, and when we go on the "boys' cruises", I'm one of the boys, get gambling money, and my hooker is on him. The wives don't know, and I do believe that most of them don't want to know, because outside of everything else, they're still excellent dads to their kids and good providers for the household. I have no issues of conscience and no qualms coving for them. My job is not to be the moral police, my job is to make sure the vessel is operated in a safe manner, and I fulfill that obligation regardless of who is onboard.
Posted: Wednesday, May 27, 2009 3:25 AM

If it's about an affair, as much as I would be against it and feel for the other spouse, I would stay out of it. I would be compelled to stay out of it. 


But if it was a yacht where the owner was having a naked or drug infused party without me being aware of that possibility before accepting the job, I would be dead set against it and probably scold every single person who was privy or a part of it.  Including calling the authorities and jumping ship.  I don't believe there is enough crew in this industry who would NOT be willing to go along with these kinds of acts.  Money can make many do all kinds of stuff including going along with or tolerating illicit acts that are sometimes associated with this biz.

 For me, I think that's pretty sad and cowardly. Right, Neil?

Posted: Monday, July 6, 2009 6:13 PM
Joined: 22/06/2009
Posts: 4

As someone with limited industry experience (Mostly in Australia) I have come across this sort of stuff A LOT .... which makes me think it must be a LOT more rife in the Med/Carribean. Fact of the matter is these people pay us good money to work for them, not council them on their behaviour.....

Do what you want, we´ll run the Vessel & keep our mouths shut!

Posted: Wednesday, July 8, 2009 12:09 PM
The industry is full of it, it's actually pretty much the norm. If you're concerned about spouses and families, the hookers on the full on party cruises are much less likely to cause issues on the family front than the "affair". Guys don't leave their families for hookers, they leave their families for their girlfriends. I've also run boats which had some of the most outrageous gay parties on board. The most hardcore scenes out of "Cruising" look tame compared to what was going on behind the wheelhouse. Many of them were married as well. Who am I to judge? More importantly, "Why should I care?"
Posted: Wednesday, July 29, 2009 4:18 PM
Joined: 29/07/2009
Posts: 8

we are not there to judge...If you have a problem do something else. This is a job involving privacy as a number one priority!!! Not illegal not a problem...

Posted: Sunday, February 28, 2010 4:10 AM
Joined: 30/12/2008
Posts: 7

Up to the owner. Had an incident years ago before my dayson big vessels. I was skippering a 40ft Island Packet, (Everyones gotta start somewhere. LOL) and unbeknown to me, each weekend the owner would call meet me for lunch and get me to call friends of mine and take them out for the weekend but I mustn't be back by such a time and the vessels phone was off until such a time. Only a private mobile was allowed. I'd have to make sure before I left that the apartment (my digs) was spottless and he would possibly stopover if he got drunk at the yachtclub. Also I'd have to let him know where I was going in case of anything. Foolish as I was, I went along, thought he was the best owner I could have. In a year, I took him out only 3weeks and the odd extra day in total. But according to logbook, I was out almost 30 weeks. Unfortunately for him and me, one weekend, I was spotted somewhere and he was also spotted, we were some 150miles apart. Later that week the apartment below suffered what seemed to be a leak coming from the crew/weekend apartment. The owner couldn't get me as yacht phone off as was owners, so called the wife who had keys. She arrived to find him in the overflowing bath with his mistress. When I got back the proverbial hit the fan. Turns out my trips were his cover. But by being spotted some 150 miles apart led her to be suss already the leak sealed his fate. We both lost the yacht and apartment through his divorce. Fortunately he did give a positive reference noting I was not to blame. I was very discreet. Live and learn. Another vessel a little later was owned by a guy who made adult educational type films. Got a little difficult to work some time when a boom mike is resting over your shoulder when your departing a dock and a camera man is catching the angle from the helm with "Actors" banging the hell out of each other screaming yes, yes, F*&^ me harder" as we depart the berth with other vessels nearby watching and smiling and all your focusing on is not being distracted and crashing in close quarters. Live and Learn. We're all very different, as long as its legal. Who am I to judge? If thats how they made their money or want to spend it, cool beans.
Posted: Sunday, August 22, 2010 1:16 PM
yes, we have to just care of vessel and our job and let owners do, what they like, if is it safe for us... Different is, and mostly time is problem between women on yachts, like jealousy etc... she stew and she gf of owner, stew after work playing chess and gf hate her, him and make hard time to her,, he jsut ,,don't worry about it,,..but problem going on still.... its sometime not importain, how good you are in your job and how you really like to work, the problem is the face and character and this women can not take it.... women are jealousy and thats why many girls must stop even they don't want... i know it, bcs it happend me soo many times....its sooo unfair, but what can we do...?
Posted: Monday, August 23, 2010 6:00 PM
What are you asking, what is the inappropriate behavior you are suggesting? The Navy deals with it like this

To go blindly ahead with any wish is surely foolhardy !

Would you blindly walk across the road? 

We are looking forward to your candid replies

Posted: Friday, October 22, 2010 8:12 AM
Joined: 22/07/2009
Posts: 97

I would go with the 38 m rw, do my work, mouth \ ears shut » Except safety reasons » What hapens in the boat , stays at the boat       and it would be great, awesome trip.  Where can we apply ?