When you’ve spent all summer making sure other people’s dream holidays come true – there’s a point towards the end of the season when the friendly, helpful, professional ‘you’ fights to keep a monstrous mean-spirited, frustrated alter ego hidden from view deep inside you.
The temptation to pour cocktails down the cleavage of Mrs Eva Sorude becomes a dangerous possibility and suddenly spoilt, whiny children start to look very kick-able. Even your best crew pals have developed irritating habits.
Don’t worry; you’re not morphing into a monster. You need a break. Don’t waste your energy daydreaming of murderous mischief, dream up your next mini break before the Caribbean season drags you back to the water.
After months on a sixty metre cooped up in a world of glitzy materialism, the idea of a campfire, a billy can, and a very hard bed under a canopy of stars could well be what you’re after – in which case you need to head for the countryside (but baby, it will be cold outside). Wild camping in France, for example, is possible but restrictions do exist, so check first – and don’t light fires. It is possible to camp on public land as long as you only pitch your tent from dusk til dawn, and it is legal on private land with the owner’s consent. Wild camping in Scotland, and the UK in general is permitted as long as you camp responsibly no less than 100 metres from the roadside. For more information, check out www.worldofwildcamping.com.
But if bedding down basic style is all too reminiscent of life on board what you need is your own bit of rubbing, scrubbing, pummelling and massaging into shape. The obvious choice for a pamper is Les Thermes Marins de Monte Carlo. The Monte Carlo Spa stay at either the Hôtel de Paris or Hôtel Hermitage offers a two night bed and breakfast package for two that includes two massage treatments per person, 50 percent discount at the Monte Carlo Golf Club and the Monte Carlo Country Club, access to an Olympic size seawater heated pool, aqua fitness centre, Turkish bath, sauna and cardio-fitness centre. Prices for two for a minimum two nights are around 756 euros, but check for last-minute deals (www.montecarloresort.com). More massage oil and mud-based magic with a spot of golf on the side can be found at Tuscany’s Spa and Golf Resort, Terme di Saturnia. (www.termedisaturnia.it)
Sophie Riché at Rinck Travel says crew feedback after breaks at the following golf and spa resorts has been good: Royal Mougins Golf Resort, Four Seasons Resort Provence at Terre Blanche at Tourette in the Var, La Bastide de Tourtour or Domaine de St. Endreol Golf and Spa resort. Otherwise, try something new at the Hotel Sezz in St. Tropez with a weekend package that includes a lesson at the Polo Club de Gassin. Rinck can arrange last minute deals at all of these places for you. (firstname.lastname@example.org: Tel +33 (0)4 93 34 34 38)
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