So you thought you had cocked-up?

The little thing like dropping a tray was a baddie? No, try dropping a tray of 12 champange flutes on the aft deck while stern-to at the swimming-pool in Monte-Carlo for the Grande Prix with 200 papparazi snapping away, on your first day in the job.

 The stupid swish/swish Star Trek doors didn't work and I walked, with utter confidence, at them while the Honda F1 guys were sitting there. Crunch, Spatt, tinckle and a bit more tinckle followed by a lot of DustBuster noise was my internal sound track for a long while.

That was the easy one, the next my mates still rub-in to this day 20 years on.

The Owner's sister-in-law (the Consul of Austria to Hong Kong and China) came into the galley to say thank you to the girls for looking after her so well. I think we were in Samoa or Fiji or somesuch. I was sitting on the counter-top above the dishwashers when she leaned forward, so in a friendly way I kissed her on the cheek.

I didn't know she was looking for the chuffing tender out of the window. Yes, the girls cracked up. A bit rosie in the cheeks was I.