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Dear Crew Confessor,
We have a new chef on board and it appears that she has itchy knickers
for the Captain. All of us have worked together for several years and
are like a family. She's been doing stuff like making special meals for
him, always sitting next to him, and giving him shoulder rubs when he's
at the helm. She is so fake, she'll be in an awful mood in the galley
but when he walks in she gets all smiley and acts happy. All of us went
out the other night after a charter and she wore a micro mini and I
swear she was going commando. Makes the rest of us on the boat want to
hurl. Fearless leader enjoyed the view apparently and followed her
around the pub like a dog.
The owners think she is just terrific. She may be a skank but she can
cook. But that's not the worst part. He's married and just had a baby!
We know his wife, she used to be the chef. It's getting worse and now
when the wife comes on board we are having trouble looking her in the
eye. She can tell there is something up.
Any advice?
Witness to the Seduction
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Joined: 20/11/2008 Posts: 94
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Dear Witness,
This is wrong for so many reasons. In a way she is breaking up two
families, his traditional family ashore and his one onboard. But, and
this is a big but, you cannot blame her, it takes two people to have an
affair and even though men have issues listening to the wrong end of
their anatomy at times they can still say no. He's probably missing his
wife and often sex dies off after a couple have a baby, at least for a
while, so he is vulnerable. This is not an excuse for his behavior,
just a possible explanation. Obviously you can't say anything to the
wife. But there is something you and your crewmates can do. Sabotage.
Things like playing Fatal Attraction in the crew mess (a lot!), and
limiting the time they spend alone. Get your crew mates involved and
every time they are alone together, barge in or invite yourself along
if they go ashore together. Bring up the name of his wife in
conversation as often as you can. If you have any old photos of the
whole crew together with his wife in them, post them in the crew mess
and talk about what a great charter that had been, how wonderful wifey
cooked etc... blah blah blah. Have fun with this, I bet you can think
of lots of ways to keep the wife onboard at least in spirit! This might
be all that is necessary to help your captain keep his rudder in check.
Good Luck,
Your Crew Confessor
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Love it! Great
response to a difficult situation. Sometimes for men out of site is out
of mind, but you can still keep her " in sight" in his mind. It'll
probably also begin to embarass the new "chef" and hopefully shame her
into keeping her knickers on!
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